Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Funny Poem Winners!

Howdy writers!

Well, it gives me great, big, huge pleasure to announce the winners of my recent ‘It’s Friday and I’ve Got the Flu’ Competition.

I’d been looking for fun poems that would make me forget my sky high temperature and thumping headache, and I was so touched by the lovely messages and brilliant entries I received.

So, thank you all very much :) 

In the end, I couldn’t decide between two of the entries, so I hereby declare the following two poems joint winners. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

First up is From the Chair’s Point of View by 13 year-old Chloe from Stourbridge. It was inspired by a conversation Chloe had with a medical professional when she asked if her wheelchair could be altered and the doctor uttered the immortal words, ‘Well, let’s look at this from the chair’s point of view'. Thankfully, Chloe kept her sense of humour about it and wrote this fantastic poem. I loved the rhythm of this piece, the sense of fun, and the clever way in which Chloe wove in her family life from the point of view of the chair. And most of all I loved the dry humour.

From the Chair’s Point of View

From the chair’s point of view, well.. from the chair’s point of view,
I wouldn't have thought that eating every single chocolate
in that 'Family Sized' box, all on your own, was really the best idea,
Dear Mother!

From the chair’s point of view, well.. from the chair’s point of view,
I wouldn't have thought that slumping and slurping while ka-powing
aliens all day, was absolutely the best idea
Dear Brother!

From the chair’s point of view, well.. from the chair’s point of view,
I wouldn't have thought that all that crying and sighing
with a worlds supply of chocolate
was really the best idea
Dear Sister!

Oh from the chair’s point of view, that poor chair’s point of view.
It's had to put up with such a lot
in its time.
So it's lucky that I'm here, really.

You may start to yell, and say that I'm being rude, now.
But, you see..
I'm only expressing the chair’s point of view!
Not mine.
Not at all!

So I can't be grounded
It's not right!

The chair seems so very
I'm just being compassionate, caring
That's all.

I just thought you'd like to know
the poor old haggard chair’s point of view!

And the other winner is the brilliant Shawty by Arianne from County Westmeath in Ireland. This poem was so well written and contained such great detail. I also loved the subject matter. Like Chloe’s poem, it had me hooked from start to finish and I loved the tongue-in-cheek humour.


Shawty: noun; a modern term used to describe an attractive female, most commonly found in popular music.

I understand it’s not an expected thing to do 
But I figured I’d be hip and cool
And honestly I’m not being haughty
When I address this man-magnet we call Shawty
I’m just trying to wrap my head around
The idea that, not as a piece of dirt on the ground
On which boys like to hiss and spit,
This modern goddess actually exists.

She seems to originate from the United States
But in a sudden twist of all our fates
She’s recently been spotted in new locations
Though perhaps she’s just been on more vacations.
Her natural habitat is that of malls
Or otherwise strutting within high school halls
Carrying six shopping bags on her arms
And winning over jocks with her many charms.

She adores the brand new music scene
In fact she seems a little keen
To feature in so many raps
And receive her fair share of these claps
She is the perfect streetwise dancer –
Not one of these little ballet prancers –
And frequents a variety of top night clubs
Though she is allergic to good old fashioned pubs.

She wears the latest fashions with style
Without fuss, without care all the while
In fact she juggles many outfits a day
And once according to legend they say
Apple-bottom jeans and boots with the fur –
The whole club was looking at her –
At the same time as them baggy sweat pants
And not forgetting those Reeboks with the straps.

Oh yes, she regularly hits the floor
And never leaves by the main door
She’s an icon, you know, with needs
And a billion-member Twitter feed.
However there is strong evidence to suggest
She doesn’t get a lot of rest
Her constant popularity is such
And she’s in pop songs that much.

I think it’s time we give her a break
At least for her precious mental health’s sake
You never know with all this fame
She might end up thinking life’s a game
Though in reality it’s not easy,
Consistently avoiding all things sleazy,
Being stunningly beautiful as well as pretty
And downing eighteen shots in one sitting.

Yes, I vote to let Shawty of the hook
At least until she writes a new book
And let her get on with life
Free from all this media strife.
We’ll remember her fondly
And of course blondely
For the few seconds, in essence,
In which we can cope without her presence.

Thank you so much to everyone who entered - and there'll be more competitions here VERY soon...

Siobhan x

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